24. Square Peg, Round Hole: Finding a Career That Truly Fits

Have you ever felt like a square peg in a round hole when it comes to your career? Maybe you're stuck in a job that doesn’t align with your strengths, or you're questioning whether your work truly reflects your values.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. So many women struggle with feeling out of place in their careers but don’t know how to take the first step toward change.

In this episode of No Cape Required, I sit down with Staci Witten, an ICF-certified coach specializing in career development, business growth, and leadership advancement. Together, we break down the signs that indicate you’re in the wrong role, how to navigate the fear of career change, and the strategies to help you thrive in your true genius zone. 

If you've ever experienced the Sunday Scaries or questioned your professional path, this conversation is for you!

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ How to recognize when your job isn’t the right fit
✅ Why your values play a key role in career satisfaction
✅ How to integrate work and life for a better balance
✅ Practical exercises to uncover your strengths and ideal career path
✅ The difference between a mentor and a coach—and which one you might need
✅ Strategies for making a career transition without fear

Guest Spotlight: Staci Witten
Staci Witten is an ICF-certified coach, consultant, and trainer with over 30 years of experience in human resources, executive leadership, and professional coaching. She helps clients achieve success through a strength-focused approach, guiding them toward careers and businesses that align with their passions and values. When she’s not coaching, she enjoys life as a wife, mother, and proud grandmother.

Connect with Staci Witten on LinkedIn. 

Download Staci's free timeline worksheet here. 

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!
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Until next time, remember: You don’t need a cape to lead authentically and live with purpose!

Download 10 Ways to Shed Your Superwoman Cape

Dr. Dara would love to connect.
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Transcript

Dr. Dara Rossi: Welcome back to No Cape Required, the podcast where we empower women to live and lead authentically. Have you ever felt like a square peg in a round hole? Maybe you're questioning whether your career path is truly aligned with who you are and your values. Or perhaps you're wondering if you're performing in your true genius zone, um, or just getting by in a role that just really doesn't quite fit and it's not right and you just don't know what to do. If any of this resonates with you, you're not alone. So many women feel stuck, out of place, unsure of how to take that first step towards a, uh, more fulfilling career. Today, I'm thrilled to welcome Staci Witten, an expert in guiding women through these pivotal types of moments. Together, we're going to explore how to recognize when it's time for a change, or how to navigate the fear of stepping into something new when the fear usually holds us back. And how to identify and really thrive in your true genius zone. It's going to be a powerful conversation, so stay tuned and I don't want you to miss it. And also share this with others. Let me tell you a little bit about Staci, who happens to be a great friend of mine. Staci Witten is an ICF certified coach. She is a consultant, a trainer. She specializes in career development, business growth, leadership advancement, and work life balance, which we probably could all use a little more of. Um, she uses a strength focused approach to help others and help her clients really achieve new heights in their personal and professional aspirations. Foster a life of intention, balance and fulfillment. That sounds great, doesn't it? She has over 30 years of experience spanning human resources, executive roles, professional coaching, and a successful business owner herself. Stacy's work is grounded in the core values of faith, family, creativity, community, health and service. And I love that Stacey balances her professional acumen with her wisdom and warmth of her personal life as a wife, mother, and the proud grandmother of a beautiful boy. Welcome, Stacy.

Staci Witten: Thank you. And, um, I'm so excited to be here. So excited. Yeah. Good.

Dr. Dara Rossi: I'm glad you're here.

Staci Witten: Uh, you know, I have to start. I have to tell you something. When I was probably after I'd been married about 10 years or so and I had a daughter, I was raising a daughter and my parents gave me, I think it was a birthday or something, gave me this figurine. It was a woman with a cape on and said super mom on it and superwoman on it, and it had these little things like the phone and computer and holding a child and all this other stuff going on with it. And at one point in my life, I put that away because it was such a high expectation. And we tried, especially back then, I tried to do so, so much. And it's just unrealistic. So, uh, that figurine sticks in my head whenever I hear your podcast. And I just wanted to share that with you. And it's so true. We don't need to be all things to all people.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Thank you for sharing that. Because societal has put that pressure on us and then we internalize that and put it ourselves. Right. So one of the reasons I want to start this podcast is to help women say, wait a minute, how do I break free from this? You know, if you can recognize it that you're in it. So great. Well, thank you for sharing that. Well, I want to jump in with this, um, square peg, round hole. Now if you're watching us, my kids, when they were little, they got this red and blue toy. I don't. It's probably Fisher Price, I don't know. And you had these little, uh, objects that you had to fit into the right hole. And no matter how hard you pushed, if you had the wrong object for the wrong hole, it wouldn't fit. You might get it part the way in. And my kids, my boys especially, would jam it so hard to get it stuck in there. Right. So you couldn't get it out and you couldn't get in. And that kind of, that just makes me think of this square peg, round hole. So talk to us about this syndrome, Stacy.

Staci Witten: And that toy is exactly where I got this from. Because, um, I've had. It happened to me several times in my life and in my practice, my coaching practice, I try to help others not have to go through that or if they're going through that, recover from it quicker than what I did. And the first time I experienced it, I was in college and I had changed my major from architecture to communications to marketing. And even I do have a minor in marketing. But the classes I was taking were just, uh. And the school I was at was a wonderful school. However, it wasn't the school for me because it was very technical oriented. And one day I came out of class and I sat down on a bench. I'd just taken a quiz. I knew I failed it, and I sat there and cried because what I was trying to do was not me, it was not where my strength was. So I was trying to fit into the mold of, uh, something I wasn't of a skill set I didn't have in the course that I was taking at the time. And fast forward when I had, when I was in HR and I was given a position where it was the HR coordinator, it was HR generalist. It was a great opportunity to learn about hr. And one of the things I was given the responsibility for was a company of like 2,500 benefits, a benefits plan for 2,500 employees. And it was very archaic in the way the HR department managed it. Uh, they were working with the tools they had. And one of those tools was of course, a spreadsheet. So I was managing benefits for 2,500 people using a spreadsheet and reconciling with a spreadsheet versus the payroll system. And it was mind blowing for me because I can do a spreadsheet. That's not it. But you're dealing with data. You're comparing data, you're comparing it to different platforms. And I just wanted to bang my head against the wall because that is not my strength. My strength would have been providing a strategy, developing a new strategy on how to do this and talking people through the benefits. That was my strength. But looking at a spreadsheet was not. It was a square peg run hole. Eventually I left, but there were other things in that position that happened. The close people that I worked with were great. They were within my value system, but some of the upper management was not. And we did not share the same values. And integrity and honesty are right up there for me. And that was being challenged. And so again, square peg, ground hole. You know that feeling Sunday night, waking up Monday morning, that gut feeling that, oh, Monday o, I gotta go do this. And again, questioning, why am I feeling this way? If you're asking yourself that, and if you're feeling that way, you're probably suffering from square peg, round hole.

Dr. Dara Rossi: They call that the Sunday scaries. Don't they have heard that term mentioned? I think a lot. You know, so many bad things came from COVID and the pandemic. But some of, you know, looking on the brighter side, some people figured out that they were doing the wrong thing, they were in the wrong place. The square peg, round hole, they figured that out, right? Some did. But there's still so many people, and I work with them. And you do too. Women who come to me and say, uh, I hate what I'm doing, right? Uh, and so I know that you work with a lot of women that are in this place, right? They're either in the wrong place or they're not able to have any type of balance between work and their personal life. So how do you help these women.

Staci Witten: To find the balance between the work and the personal life?

Dr. Dara Rossi: Either one. So those that are stuck, let's start with the balance. Then we'll go to those that are stuck and how those that might want to make a change.

Staci Witten: It actually overlaps a little bit. Okay. I think need you start where, where, when I work with a client, I'll start with, well, meet them where they're at. Sometimes they have had assessments. Sometimes they know things about themselves, their strengths, their gifts. Uh, they may have taken Myers Briggs and may have done dis. They may have done actual strengths. And when I work with them, I kind of get an inventory of what they know about themselves already. And from there, looking at what do you enjoy doing and what you don't enjoy doing and what are your values? The values come into play for balance. And let's be honest, there is no true balance. There's times in your life where work, work will play a big role, your life will play a big role. It just depends on where you're at. But it's about living intentionally.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Mhm.

Staci Witten: However, when we talk about balance, that's what people say.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Integration is probably the better word. How the two integrate with each other and which one gets more airtime when needed.

Staci Witten: Exactly, exactly. And knowing your values is so important. And I take my clients through an exercise that I've developed to myself and it helps them narrow down their top six to 10 values. And that Monday morning feeling, whenever they have that, if that's happening for them, you need to go back to your values and what's not in sync. So I have mine up on the wall so I can have it top of mind. So it includes family, faith, creativity, community, health and service. So if those things are not happening in my life, I'm going to feel less intentional, it's going to be less integrated. And it needs to be in both my job, my business, as well as in my personal life. The other thing we do is this is so effective and I've done it several times and I try to do it now year to year. So creating a timeline and this is something that your listeners can do on their own. And I'll actually, I'll offer to them instructions on how to do this. But basically you take, you think about, go back to a period of time. I've gone as far back as high school, what did I like, what I didn't like, and what I'd want to continue doing. So think about the experiences, the travel, the jobs, the interactions you've had. What stands out to you when you go all the way back to that time period.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So the big highlights, the things where you're like, this is in my highlight reel. I don't have to think hard. This pops right now my memory about when I was 21 years old and this happened. So those big events that made an impact and lasting impression. Okay?

Staci Witten: Exactly. And you do this timeline. I'm a very visual person, so I'll roll out a big old piece of butcher paper or that, uh, brown packing paper, and I'll start writing. But I do this year to year. What are the highlights? And granted, I'll go back to my calendar and look at it as well. And I think you had a podcast about this towards the end of the year as well. But being able to recap the good, the bad, and.

Dr. Dara Rossi: And the ugly. Yes. Yeah, I did have a podcast about it. And one was going back to your calendar and one's going back to your photos. Now, our photos don't go back to our high school days. So you might pull out your photo albums if you're like me and you have the photo albums or you have them in a box somewhere, right. Just to kind of refresh and think about what was bringing me joy, where did I get energy, what energized me, and I could just lose myself in it and didn't realize that the time was going by.

Staci Witten: And you can even ask your loved ones, ask your siblings, ask your parents, ask your best friend from high school, when did you see me thrive? When did you see me in high energy, having fun? What do you remember? Because that's what's going to stand out.

Dr. Dara Rossi: What do you do with that once you have it? Staci.

Staci Witten: Making note of those things that the bad and the ugly. 

Dr. Dara Rossi: Knowing what you don't want to do is so valuable, more important than actually knowing what you want to do I think in some cases.

Staci Witten: In my case, I didn't want to be the coordinator of the spreadsheet.

Dr. Dara Rossi: I'm right there with you.

Staci Witten: Right? But I'll help you offer strategy, how to fix the problem. That's where I thrive. Or helping find the right people, connecting to the right people to fix the problem or delegating it out. That would be my strength. Now let me add this. The bad and the ugly are great experiences because you learn what you don't want to do, but you still learn a skill that possibly you could share with somebody else if you're training them to do something or if you just need to be able to communicate the concept, it's still knowledge. And so there is no regret there. You should own it and what you learned from it.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Okay, so then we take this. I, uh, hear you say, kind of look for themes and patterns throughout this, however far back you plan it. Right. You're looking for patterns. Heck, you can do that during your week on a Friday, look back on the week and see where you were drained and where you got energy, too. Right. In the short term. But if we're doing this larger project and we're looking for themes because we're. This again, wrong. Wrong one. We're a square peg, round hole. How do you go about making a move? Gosh, that's scary. I've been an organization for 15 years, and I'm doing this and moving up the track, and I hate it, or I want to make a move, or I'm not happy, whatever the case may be. What do you do with that?

Staci Witten: First of all, ask for help. Uh, ask for help. If your organization supports mentorships, that might be an option for you. I truly believe in seeking out a coach that is right for you is very important as well. And a true coach is going to talk you through the process, ask you those powerful questions, and probably give you access to tools that you didn't know existed. And to be able to process. A coach is going to help you process all that data, because it's a lot of data. If you have all these assessments coming in and you know your values, you know what's important to you, you know what matters, how do you process all that? And a coach can help you process it.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Okay, I have to pause you right there, because I've talked several times about my clients, and I'm a coach. I've interviewed several coaches, and I want to make sure that our audience understands the difference between that and a mentor. And so, yeah, just to get clear on that. So, uh, a mentor could be someone at work that's done your position or been in your role or is a senior leader in the organization or some other one you're connected with that can help you think about how to do your job better, how to streamline things, processes, that sort of thing. It may be kind of a lending, you know, an ear to lean on to a shoulder to cry on so that you can talk through things. Right. They've probably done some of the things you're doing and therefore can give you advice. A coach, on the other hand, is different. So let me let you explain that in your own words, the difference in that and the mentor.

Staci Witten: A coach will ask you powerful questions and you own the answers. A coach is not going to tell you what to do. A coach is going to be able to help you process, partner with you, to process what you're saying. They're going to listen, they might say things back to you that you just said and you'll hear it in a totally different way. And I truly, bottom of my heart, believe that a good coach is going to have ICF training and they're going to be working towards credentials which like you and I are both the PCC with ICF accreditation. So the reason I uh, feel so strongly is because the International Coaching Federation or ICF sets the golden standard for coaching. There's a lot of people out there that call themselves a coach. However, they're really a consultant. And what the outcome for you means as someone being coached is that you're going to own the outcome. You're going to be empowered to own that outcome and to take that specific action that you have come up with.

Dr. Dara Rossi: That's great. And there's a place I think for both of these. There are a lot of people that have mentors within organizations that basically help them do their job better. I think of a mentor like that you, a mentor can really help you do your job better. They can shorten that learning curve to move forward and to be successful. Where coach, I think helps you make transformation. Mhm. Within yourself, personally, professionally. All of the above. Yeah. Okay, great. Well, I just. Sorry, I just want to touch on that real quick because I've mentioned it a few times before and then you just brought it up again. Okay, so you're saying uh, they could get a mentor, but then they could also hire a coach. Particularly if they're thinking about changing careers or changing industries or starting in own.

Staci Witten: Business or whatever or even taking your career to the next level. You feel stuck. Uh, or pigeonholed. Maybe it's not square peg round hole. Maybe you're stuck in the same round hole that you've been there for so long and now you want to move up, you want to take that next step.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Y.

Staci Witten: And this can help you do that as well.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah. And there are some coaches that coach in a lot of different realms and specializations and there's some that are just not just career coaches. I didn't mean to say that there's some that specialize in career coaching, which is one of your fortes. Right. What all is involved in career coaching? I mean like as Far as like resume help or LinkedIn or interviewing, you know, that sort of thing.

Staci Witten: So when I work with a client, when it's around their career, career coaching, say they're wanting to a job change, one of the first questions I ask around the resume is, what do you want the reader to know? What do you want them to walk away with after they read your resume? And then you have to back into that. And this is where a little bit of my consulting comes in and training. So there's so many things that you have to consider with a resume. Your audience is of course, a human and a computer AI and an applicant tracking system. Right. So you have to target that applicant tracking system on their end, on the employer side, before a human even looks at your resume. So you have to know how to play that. I hate to say play that game, but that's what it is.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Okay, so resume is something that you help with. What else could our listeners get from, uh, working with a coach, a career coach? If they're wanting to make that change.

Staci Witten: Or level up, they will feel more empowered with the direction that they take. It can help them overcome imposter syndrome. From a consulting standpoint, if you've worked with someone that's been in recruiting, which I have, you might also get help with your LinkedIn profile. And again, it starts with that same question. Why do you want someone to know about you when they read your LinkedIn profile? So it's a combination. There is some consulting involved, but there's also a lot of mindset work that goes into play as well.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah. Soul searching and getting back to that. Drawing out on the butcher block and figuring out where you're going and where you want to be. Right. Uh, speaking of LinkedIn, we might have to talk after this interview. My, uh, LinkedIn profile needs a little bit of an update. Okay. So what I hear you saying about, uh, working with a career coach is there's many different avenues they could take and you base it on where the client is, what their needs are, what their desires are, and what their capabilities are.

Staci Witten: Right.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Where they're going from it.

Staci Witten: Yeah, yeah. And I've helped thousands of people to go through this, both men and women. But I love working with women especially, and I have a proven process that works. But within that process, every client is in a different place. And so it's important to meet you where you're at, and it's important that you don't discredit any of this other self-work that you've done. That's important that goes into coaching as well.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah. What is. You know, we talked about the genius zone. I think I mentioned that earlier. To make sure you're where you need to be. Is there a way that you know if you're performing in that true genius zone or if you're in the right place?

Staci Witten: Yeah. I call it the zone of genius. Picture of Venn Diagram O. You have your values here on one side. On one side, you have your, um, purpose and mission next to it. And then below it, you have your experience, your strengths, your gifts, your talents. And in the middle, where all those overlap, that is your zone of genius. And the way I know I'm in it, like, I'm getting it right now is that chill factor. When you're doing something and the time passes quickly, you're in the flow. Yes. Or you have the chill factor. Everything's in sync. Everything's going the way it's supposed to go. And it's because you're empowered. It's because you're confident in what you're doing, because you're leveraging your strengths.

Dr. Dara Rossi: And then everything else seems to fit. Then the family fits, then the other thing fit everything because you're in the spot you need to be. You're using your talents and your values and all of that together. Right. It makes everything else work more smoothly, too.

Staci Witten: Yes. When you're truly using your gifts and strengths, that it is just who you are, you are going to live a more balanced life because you may be learning, you may still be stretching yourself, but you're using the skill sets and the natural abilities that you have to reach a goal, and that helps you reach that intentional living that balance.

Dr. Dara Rossi: I am looking at the time, and I can't believe how it has flown. I'm feeling like we need a part two on this interview. If your game, I think I don't know about my listeners out there, but I feel like there's so much more that we can learn from Staci that we can embody and use to make sure, you know, we're not trying to fit in the societal pressures of that little doll she got with the supermom and superwoman, uh, on there. So we can live and lead authentically and be in a place that I kind of think of making us whole. We're whole, and we're better able to do the things that we need and want to do.

Staci Witten: Absolutely.

Dr. Dara Rossi: That's awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here today, Staci and, uh, listeners, you stay tuned, because I feel like there's a part two coming. If I can twist Staci's arm when we get off of here. Until next time.