23. How to Network Like a Natural (Even If You Hate It)

Let’s be real—networking can feel awkward, forced, and, honestly, a little cringey. If you’ve ever dreaded a networking event, you’re not alone.

But what if networking wasn’t about selling yourself or collecting business cards? What if it was simply about making genuine connections?

In today’s episode, I sit down with Lisa Ong, an award-winning executive coach and inclusion connector, to unpack a fresh, intentional approach to networking that feels natural, not transactional.

Lisa shares game-changing strategies to build trust, make meaningful connections, and navigate networking events (even if you’re an introvert).

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ Why traditional networking feels so uncomfortable—and what to do instead
✅ How to approach events with the mindset of serving, not selling
✅ The ROCKS method: a simple framework to make networking feel effortless
✅ Why being curious and asking the right questions builds instant rapport
✅ Powerful networking hacks, including Lisa’s genius “phone trick”
✅ How to cultivate long-term professional and personal relationships without overwhelm

Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn or visit WishingOutLoud.com to learn more.

Download 10 Ways to Shed Your Superwoman Cape

Dr. Dara would love to connect.
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Transcript

Dr. Dara Rossi: Welcome to No Cape Required podcast where we are talking about living and leading authentically. And no need for you to wear your cape. Today we're going to dive into a topic I think that many of us wrestle with and that's building meaningful connections. Now, let's be honest, the word networking alone makes some of us cringe. I know it does. Me too. It's kind of like, ugh, I never hear anybody say, I have to go to this networking event with a big cheer in their voice, right? It's, uh, usually dread it. It feels forced, I think, and transitional. There's no meaning or anything authentic about it. And yet building trust, I think and cultivating intentional friendships and relationships is essential not only for our profession. Right. And for us to grow professionally, but for personal fulfillment too. Now here's the hard part. You know, being intentional about relationships takes effort. Between what we have, busy schedules, families, kids, competing priorities, our own vulnerabilities, uh, it can feel overwhelming to nurture these connections that can truly matter to us. So how do we do it? How do we invest in a relationship in, uh, a way that feels genuine, where we can build trust over time? Today we're going to be unpacking this with Lisa Ong, who will be sharing her insights, I think, on creating these intentional connections and how to foster trust and how do we redefine how we approach relationships. And whether you're looking to strengthen your relationship, collaborate more effectively at work, or simply really feel more connected in your daily life, I think this episode is going toa be for you. Make sure you follow. Okay required. And share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Now let me tell you about our guest, Lisa Ong. Uh, she is a certified coach with ICF. She's an award winning, exclusive leadership and belonging strategy consultant, speaker, and she is widely known as a talent gardener. I love that. And an inclusion connector to organizations that hire her. They hire her so that she can help create and support momentum in welcoming spaces for well-being in the workplace. She serves as an executive coach and a facilitator for leadership development, employee research groups, and even employee engagement programs. D CEO magazine named her the Dallas 500 in their directory as one of the most powerful business leaders in DFW. For five years she's led her team, wishing out loud to be recognized in Forbes as leukemia and Lymphoma Society Dallas 2023 Visionary of the year. Lisa shares her passions and her expertise in service for numerous boards and my friends. There's so much more about Lisa we don't have time. We could spend the whole episode just talking about her background. But let's get to the topic. Welcome, Lisa. I'm so glad you're here.

Lisa Ong: Welcome. It's great to be here.

Dr. Dara Rossi: I'm glad you are. Well, because of your diverse background, I think in your expertise. In your expertise, and then you run your own business. We talked about several topics we could focus on for this program, but I think what I want to do is talk about two topics and sort of combine those, and that's, uh, building trust and connections that really last and then also investing in these intentional friendships and relationships. So can we merge those today? How does that sound?

Lisa Ong: Sounds wonderful. It's the whole premise behind my business.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Oh, great. Well, I pinpoint that, didn't I? That's great. Okay, I want to jump in first and talk about two words. I want to talk about connection and about networking. I often have clients who say they're going to networking events so they can make connections, and I'm not really sure that they have a real purpose or intent for going to that network event. Now, I have to admit, I'm a bit of a Berne Brown groupie and, uh, love to geek out on her research. And she defines connection that I use this quite often. She defines it as an energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued, and then when they give and receive without judgment, and when they derive sustenance and strength from that relationship. That's just beautiful, the way she puts that. Now, let's contrast that with, I looked up the Oxford Dictionary for networking because we tend use those interchangeable, at least in my experience. So if you look up networking, it's an action or process of interacting with others to engage, inform, and develop professional or personal contacts. What do you think about this?

Lisa Ong: I think that's why people don't like networking, because it feels transactional. I feel like someone's coming to get you and want something from you and going to pull on you. Right. So that's why when they say, do you want to go to a networking event? Their hesitation, like, I'm not up for that. But I struggled with that because especially when you're doing business development, my business coach was like, you need to go out and network more. And I was like, oh, I'm terrible at sales. I don't want a network. And she said, I need you to reframe it. It's about making connections. It's about making new friends with people. You just don't know their names yet, but you're there. To serve, not to sell. And I was like, oh good. Because I'm not great at selling, but I love serving. What can I come to that event and share that someone might benefit from? M so when I go to networking events, I prepare. I said, what are the things that I can share with the group? And then what are the things I could ask for after I have a chance to meet them and get to know who they are? So I try not to ask them for anything in the first meeting. It's simply to get to know them and be curious, just like you said. So that they feel heard, that they feel seen, and they feel valued. You'd be surprised how many people are starving for attention. So I go into those events and I look around and say, who might be feeling lost, lonely or stuck? Ca because they're not going to reject you. I think that's one of the biggest fears when someone goes to a networking event. They're like, what do I say? What if they don't wanna let me in? What if everyone knows everybody and I'm the only one that's new and is anyone gonna talk to me? Right. That voice in our head m that inner critic.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah.

Lisa Ong: Just want to back out of the room and run. But if you look for the lost, lonely and stuck, they're just so glad for someone to say hello. Right. Smile and say the first hello. That's what I tell all my mentees.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Right. And we don't get a chance to have one on one meaningful conversations in this fast-paced world that we live in. Right. Where somebody's really listening to us and we get to share part of our story, whatever we feel comfortable doing. So when people get that opportunity, I find that they're willing to share. And you know, you find things that you can connect on, things you have in common, things you may know somebody that you can connect them with. I love that too. Right. That.

Lisa Ong: I'm always curious, what brings you to this event? How long have you been coming? Right. Is there someone in the room I should meet? Absolutely. Before I leave? Right. Would you mind introducing me? What?

Dr. Dara Rossi: Oh, I love those questions. Wait a minute. What brings you to this event? So simple. And then that opens up for them.

Lisa Ong: To tell what keep you coming back? Right.

Dr. Dara Rossi: But that opens up for them to tell you. Yeah. And um, then the other one you said was, uh, is there somebody in the room that I should meet before I leave?

Lisa Ong: That way they have an excuse to hand me off.

Dr. Dara Rossi: They can get rid of you. Yeah. No, they can hand you off to someone but it may be that you are in a particular field and they know somebody that's in that field and then go make that introduction. Right? So, yeah. You said you always like to have something when you go to these events, Lisa, what do you mean you’d like to have something you can share? Can you give us an example of that?

Lisa Ong: One of my formulas for sharing is, um, I call it the rocks. Right. I bring my rocks to share, but I always have a running list of rocks that I need. And ROCKS is an acronym for resources, opportunities, connections, knowledge and support. So I always come prepared to say, what resources can I share? What opportunities can I share? What connections can I offer to give them? Right. Or share the knowledge I'm learning. Like, I'm always asking people for their latest hacks on learning AI. I'm always looking for that knowledge. Or I need your support on X. Or how can I support your passion project? What is your passion project? Most people know my passion project is the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I'm determined to find a cure for blood cancer in my lifetime.

Dr. Dara Rossi: What a fabulous mission and passion. Yeah, that's great.

Lisa Ong: You never know. And there's things like that when you share your rocks. They go, oh, I'm passionate about that too. Or, oh, did you know I'm a survivor. When I shared that at a networking event, I got 10 people to join my team wishing out loud to compete for visionaries of the year because half my team was survivors and I never knew. That doesn't really come up in a regular conversation.

Dr. Dara Rossi: And through that connection, those connection with those 10 folks, then you won that award of the visionary for, was it 2023 money?

Lisa Ong: Yeah. If you need to raise 50,000 dollars or more. And I'm like, excuse me, I've never raised that much money by myself in my life. They said, you just need to recruit a team. And I was like, I'm not a crazy rich Asian. This is gonna be hard. How long do I have to raise $50,000? She said 10 weeks. And I'm a CPA. So I was like, okay, I did the math time. Okay, we can do that.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Well, congratulations on that. And again, what a beautiful mission.

Lisa Ong: But it made it easier to go to networking events because I just remembered to wear my LS red bracelet. Right. Lisa, you have to go. You have to tell people what you're doing. They'll see the red rubber bracelet, they'll ask you about it and then you have an opportunity to talk.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah.

Lisa Ong: People don't go to These events because they use the excuse that they're an introvert and I'm an introvert, but I just know how to turn it on when I need to. And so my best introvert hack is I share it with everyone, is I use my phone, right? You go to those really big events and you walk in and there's always like a step and repeat banner where people come in and take pictures. But you see that if there's not official photographer there, there's people trying to take awkward selfies. So I just give myself a job and stay in there and say, would you like me to take your picture for you? And they hand me their phone, right? And then I'm like, oh, can we connect on LinkedIn? Or if they don't have their phone with them, I take it online and say, can I text it to you? So now I have their phone number. Now I've given them a favor, like, can I take a selfie? So we remember where we met. Now they know what I look like. So by offering that, going back to being seen, right, they were struggling, you were solving that. You've made the connection and now you've given them a chance to connect with you through LinkedIn. I love the technology of LinkedIn because I'm a visual learner.

Dr. Dara Rossi: That is a genius hack right there that you just shared. Now let me ask you something about introverts, because you brought that up. So is it much easier for an introvert to later text someone and just information that way than it is to be in the face-to-face big crowd, right? I'm assuming that, but I don't want to be.

Lisa Ong: No. Um, because if you go into that room and think, I got to meet as many people as I can, that's overwhelming. And my mentors and coaches said, you just need to meet five. It's like, okay, I can do that, I can do that. It's like five and then I'm out of there. I don't even have to stay for the whole time. In fact, I joke. I was like, why do they call these happy hours? They seem to last for longer than an hour.

Dr. Dara Rossi: That's true. And the happier they get, the longer they last. That's right. So a great way you said for people to be seen and then you take that picture for them and send it to them. And now you've made a connection. That is fabulous.

Lisa Ong: I now always have everybody's cell phone number. I was like I'm old school, they'll say, well, airdrop it to me and I can hide behind. Technologically, I'm challenged. So I'm like, oh, I can't really get that airdrop to work. Can I just text you old school? And I'm like sure.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Oh, perfect. Yeah. You said something else. You talked about rocks. Will you just repeat that again, what that stands for?

Lisa Ong: It's resources, opportunities, connections, knowledge and support.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah.

Lisa Ong: And so for people who are trying to wish out loud, they're like, listen, I never know what to ask. I said use those words. I'm looking for a connection here. I'm open to a board opportunity. Right. I'm looking for support for my fundraiser. Right.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Whatever it is, I have this resource you may like that I've used for A.I. uh, or whatever it is. Yeah, it's. Something just popped in my head when you said that. And I think I would do this because I like to remember things. And this would be. Put a little rock in my pocket when I'm at an event like that. So I can just. I have these smooth little, like, wishing rocks they're called. They have different things on them. Right. And I just hold that rock and kind of rub it. Everyone, I think, okay, what do I. Where am I? Is it a resource? Is it a, uh, support? Is it. Yeah, I love that idea.

Lisa Ong: And we use that as my agenda for all of my group mentoring meetings or even group lunches. I just ask everyone to bring a rock and share a rock that way. Sense of purpose.

Dr. Dara Rossi: That's beautiful. That reminds me of. There's a show on. I think it's probably Apple. It's called Shrinking Their Psychiatrist. And there's one person on that show that she gives people a rock, but you have to be special to get the rock. And anyway, yeah, just tied that two there together, making that connection. Okay, so what else do we need to know about? So now we've got a way to go into an event, a purpose to go into an event. Right. Where we're not just going to take where instead we're giving in the event.

Lisa Ong: And that may naturally come your cell phone number and you connect on LinkedIn. So now you have a way to cultivate that relationship.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Beautiful. What else do we need to know about networking events or how to best utilize these? And I think maybe first, if we think about this as a mind shift, this is a connecting event. This is not a networking event. This is a connecting event. Right. What do we need to know? Or what else would be helpful?

Lisa Ong: I usually study who are the sponsors of the event. That way, when I go there, I can look for those company names and thank them as host for sponsoring the event. But it's also strategic because usually those are the influencers or they wouldn't sponsor the event.

Dr. Dara Rossi: And it gets you in front of people, it gets you to introduce yourself just to say thank you for sponsoring this event. Yeah.

Lisa Ong: And taking pictures of the speakers and then saying, hey, I took some pictures for you. I know you're a speaker. I'm a speaker for your social media. Can I send these to you? Then you also get their cell phone numbers. Yeah. I like what you said about this. Are you okay if I use these pictures and post a shout out post to you on my LinkedIn? They're like, oh, thank you for asking. Yes, of course. Right. So that's giving first, giving them the pictures for their social media, getting the permission to post on my social media, getting permission to tag them. I always ask permission first, uh, because I get annoyed. Sometimes people tag me when I'm not even at the event.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Like, all right, yeah. So serving first, I love that. So it is a mindset shift. The purpose of is connection. And then how do I serve them? Not what can I get from them.

Lisa Ong: Ye first. Once you start serving them, you get to know who they are, what they're all about, what they're trying to do. And then over time, you're continuing to share articles, introduce them to others, invite them to events, share other events. And then just having a brand as a connector, like I tell everyone I'm an inclusion connector. I use the hashtag. A good story of that. Somebody that follows me on LinkedIn that I didn't even know very well. Her friend was moving from, um, he was a CEO in Japan and he was moving to Dallas. And she said, you should connect with Lisa. She's a connector in DFW. I'd never met the man in my life. And now we're best friend, fabulous breakfast, right? And I introduced him to all the people I knew in DFW and now he's plugged in's less than 12 weeks later.

Dr. Dara Rossi: That's fantastic. Yeah. And I think sometimes we don't realize this, but we think we're going to go to this networking, connecting event and all of a sudden, we're going to reap all the rewards from meeting someone. That's not it. You have to nurture and grow a relationship. Right. You have to be intentional about it. Sharing. Just like you said, you're sharing articles, resources, events, whatever the case may be, you get, you may get served by them much later in life. And never even know where it came from. Right.

Lisa Ong: Especially some of these newer groups. There's a lot of new groups that are just growing and just trying to get visibility. Right. So sometimes I'll go event, ah, just to learn what they're about, to promote what they're doing. And then once they get to know you and follow you on LinkedIn, they see what you're doing, and then they're like, hey, Lisa, I didn't know that you spoke on leadership development. I know another group that meets monthly that's looking for speakers. Do you always charge or are you open to strategic nonprofit events? And I'm like, if it's a strategic nonprofit event and it will help them raise money or serve their mission, I'm always open to those. Right? Or if it's a university and it's for Career Day or College of Business Day and it's mentoring students, I'm always open to that, too. So people know that you're there to serve, not just to sell, because it's all about that relationship and listening carefully. As coaches, we're really trained to be professional listeners, to pick, uh, up on those hesitations, read the body language. It's like, is there someone you'd like to meet here that you haven't had a chance to meet? One of my favorite questions is, why did you come to this event? What would success look like at the end of this event for you? How could I help? They're like, I'm here to meet other CPAs. I'm like, okay, I'm scanning the room. I know five CPAs in the room. Which. These are the ones that do tax. These are the ones that do audit. Which ones would you like to meet?

Dr. Dara Rossi: Oh, fabulous Simp.

Lisa Ong: But it's being present in the moment to pick up on that.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So you. Gosh, you said something about, well, uh, I just lost the thought on there, but I was thinking about you having your own intent when you go to one of these events. Right? Someone said it for you. But each individual could say, I'm gonna go to this connecting event, which is, I'm go going toa call them that now. Connecting events. And I'm going to meet five people, or I'm gonna meet three people and connect with an old friend or whatever the case may be. But to have a goal before you.

Lisa Ong: Ever get there, or at least I want to go and hear the speaker. Right. I always look to see that the speakers and the topics that they're going to speak on. I might not know a soul, but I love Dr. Dara Rossi and the topic.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Well, so then that might be. I'm gonna find one quote or something from this topic to post on, uh, social media tomorrow. Right. I'm gonna go to learn from this topic. And my goal is to find something that is such a nugget that I want to share with others. You may share with your… we'll call it the network. The people you know, your tribe, your group, your email list, or what do you have a name for that, Lisa? The people in your sphere.

Lisa Ong: Yeah. Inclusion connectors. Lunch bunch.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Lunch bunch. Okay. Yeah.

Lisa Ong: So we get together quarterly. It's a lunch meetup.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Oh, nice.

Lisa Ong: Everybody I've met over the years because like you said earlier, when you grow lasting connections, it does take quality time. And you can get stretched too thin if you say yes to everybody who wants to catch up after every event. So I'm intentional about scheduling those group inclusion connector lunches. So I'm like, great. You can connect with me four times a year in person over lunch. And you get to meet 19 of my other fabulous friends while we're there. Right. Because I can't afford to do 20 separate lunches with each person.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So you're very strategic about it. You're nurturing, and it's, uh, longitudinal. It's not this quick win. Right. It's for the long course. So this is. We're talking about a lot of this for professional reasons. How could this idea be used?

Lisa Ong: Personally, I do that personally too. So our neighbors are all workers. You see them putting out the trash, getting their mail, and that's it. How will I ever get to know my neighbors? So I started putting cards in their mailboxes when they were new to the neighborhood. Just saying, welcome to the neighborhood. We've been here over 15 years. If you need anything, here's my cell phone number. And so you'd be surprised. They're like, well, I need this. I need this. I'll introduce them to the other neighbors. I said, I need to exercise more. Or any. If you happen to be a walker, let me know. I'LOVE to walk on the weekends. Well, now my walkers’ group is up to four or five ladies in the neighbor.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Fantastic.

Lisa Ong: Uh, pushing out loud for a resource and a connection. And knowing that I wouldn't get up early in the morning and exercise if there weren't four other ladies on the porch waiting for me.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Motivation, motivation.

Lisa Ong: Knowing that I'm more motivated to get together. Plus, one of them's a stay-at-home mom and we get to catch up on the gossip of what's going on in the neighborhood, which you know, when you're working, you don't get.

Dr. Dara Rossi: You don't know any of that. Yeah. ###eah that's great. Are there other ways we can use this personally, this being able to be connectors?

Lisa Ong: Yeah. I mean, realtors, that's how I get realtors. That's how I get restaurant recommendations. That's how I found out Cinemark Tuesdays is only $6 for movies. I'm like, whoa, we're going to the movies on Tuesdays now, right. It's thinking about the things that are on your to do list and then wishing out loud for resources.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Okay. You've said this wishing out loud a few times. And, uh, that's the name of your organization that you've created to tell us about the premise of this wishing out loud and what you mean more by that.

Lisa Ong: Yeah, some people call it manifesting. But to your point, you can't just wish out loud without first investing in those meaningful, trusting relationships. The people have to know and care about you to want to grant your wish. But people love the joy of granting other people's wishes. So if you hesitate to wish out loud oftentimes, when I was coaching people over the years, they would tell me what they wanted to do, and I said, well, who else knew you wanted to get promoted? Who else knew you wanted to do a global assignment? Why are you wishing out loud with me? You need to invest in meaningful, trusting relationships with the people who have the influence to grant your wish. And you always need to be prepared to manage your moments, to be prepared to wish out loud. Whether it's using rocks or using that clarity of who you are, how you lead, and where you're going, so that you're constantly wishing out loud for the same thing. And they're like, oh. So I registered it as my registered coaching approach. Right. To get clarity on your strength, who you are, how you lead, where you're headed, so that you can constantly continue to invest in those meaningful, trusting relationships, to be prepared to wish out loud. You'd be surprised how many people, when you ask them, what do you want? They're not ready to actually articulate it. I said, if your boss were to say, when you do a great job, da, uh, how do you want to be rewarded? Would you be ready to say what you wanted? They're like, no, but you're wishing out loud with me for promotion, right? For an assistant, you have a whole long list that you're not afraid to wish out loud with me. Why wouldn't you Wish out loud with your boss. Oh, I don't have that kind of relationship.

Dr. Dara Rossi: I was like, well, then circles back, doesn't it? Okay, let me see if I get a picture here. It does us no good to stand in a room and wish out loud for what we want. It does no good for us to tell our best friend, who has no capability of granting that wish, if you will, what we wish out loud for. We have to build the relationship with people and with a variety of people so that we have these true, meaningful connections. And then we know who to wish out loud with and when to wish out loud or where we can wish out loud.

Lisa Ong: Sometimes you'll get a no. Like when I went to Michael's to buy some arts and craft supplies, I was like, I forgot the coupon at home. I wish I had the coupon with me. Right? And you smile and you look pitiful, and the cashier takes pity on you, has like, here, I got you. She reaches underneath and gives you the discount. Right? But you have to be prepared to wish out loud. If you don't, you don't get it. Yeah, I do it with my family. My husband's already figured it out, though.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Stop that wishing thing. Yeah. You know, the worst thing can happen is you don't get it. Right. But if you don't wish at all, you're not gonna get it either. Right.

Lisa Ong: Praise it as a yes. No. Like, I wish you would take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, or go to Costco. He's like, I'll go to Costco.

Dr. Dara Rossi: My husband would pick that, too. That's funny. Well, I love that. Wishing out loud. I love that you put it that way. And I like that we circled back around to making these meaningful connections. If you said the most powerful thing, the most powerful thing we can do to make the meaningful connection, I think it's to serve. But what would you say it is, Lisa?

Lisa Ong: Definitely smile and say the first hello and then serve. In terms of when you make that connection, how can I help you? But also volunteering on a lot of boards, because then people get to see you serving in action, which also builds trust, right? Are you consistent? Are you dependable? How is it like to interact and work with you? So I always tell people volunteer. They're like, well, it's hard to get on a board. I'm like, it's easy to get on a committee. Everybody needs help on committees. You can volunteer for the smallest thing, right. I started volunteering simply as a greeter. Then I volunteered to say, uh, okay, I can recommend speakers or okay, I can learn how to do the survey. Right. Little things, tight. But, uh, it's a start.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So you served until you got actually on the board. You served in different roles. Volunteer wise, I know you're on like six or seven board. That's how you did it.

Lisa Ong: Just start on a committee. I tell somebody, start on a committee and pick the things that you love to do. So when I was a girl scout volunteer, I did not take the girls camping. It's like I only had one daughter. Cause that's all I could handle. But I would volunteer to help with ordering the cookies. That's spreadsheets and I’m a CPA. I live and breathe spreadsheets. That was easy, right? Like, oh, I can do that. Or buy the cookies for the meeting. Got that right. So just volunteer for the things that you're good at.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So serve in the ways that you're good at and what you like doing. Sometimes we're good at things and we just don't like it. So don't volunteer for that.

Lisa Ong: If you live your strength, it doesn't feel like work.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Give your streaks. What else? Gosh, I can't believe we've already been talking this long. It's so there's. I know there's so much more we could talk about, but what have I not asked you about that you want to share in regards to these intentional, meaningful relationships and being a connector or connecting with others, I think it's being.

Lisa Ong: Open and curious about other people at a deeper level. So I. When I get a lot of mentors, mentees assigned to me as a mentor from the various universities, and the professors always ask me, Lisa, how did you build trust with the students so quickly? And I'm like, I asked them simple questions to get them to go deeper than surface level. Right? Because typically a student will say, I'm majoring in this, graduating at this, and I want to work at this place. I was like, okay, tell me, where did you primarily grow up? Who primarily raised you? Who was someone you admire and why? Right. I'm uncovering their core values. I'm uncovering what shaped them and who they are. Right? And then finding out, okay, who are you first? What are your strengths? And then how can I help you from there? Right. Most mentors lead with their expertise and it's all about them telling stories. I listen to the students first and then I share stories that are relevant. And somebody told me that's a little bit backwards because when you think of mentors, you're supposed to be espousing advice. And I'm like, well, I don't want to give advice until I understand who the person is that's asking for the time.

Dr. Dara Rossi: What great advice. Because if we think about going into these connecting events to ask those questions that help us uncover values that we can hear in their story as they're sharing can be very useful.

Lisa Ong: Ye and softball questions. Right? They're not going to tell me their whole life story, but I like. Do you like to read? Do you like music? What podcast are you listening to lately that you just love? Or what shows are you binge watching on next?

Dr. Dara Rossi: Wait a minute. L. So you know they're go. Going toa say, no cape required, right?

Lisa Ong: Of course, of course. Fact, I put that in my monthly blog newsletter this month. I said, what are you listening to? You. What are you feeding your brains? I love coaching and connecting podcasts, so I listed yours.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Oh, thank you so much. That's great. Well, I. Speaking of, thank you, thank you for being on the podcast today and sharing these. There is so much in here. I'm going to go back and listen to it because I know I'm not doing all these, but I'm going to start carrying a rock in my pocket now when I go to CONN Event so that I can think about, uh, the acronym you've given us. And I'll put your connection information in the show notes. And I really, really appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for helping us understand better how to connect and make more meaningful relationships.

Lisa Ong: Thank you.