22. Career Crossroads: How to Recognize When It’s Time for a Change

In this episode of No Cape Required, we delve into the courageous journey of recognizing when it's time to make a career change.

If you've ever felt the weight of burnout, dread for Mondays, or a misalignment of values with your current role, you're not alone. Our guest, Dr. Lori Brakhage, shares her transformative journey from a 20-year corporate career to founding her own company, Apex Collective Strategies. With a background in linguistic anthropology and organizational behavior, Lori provides tailored advisory services and communication strategies for organizations.

She offers invaluable insights on identifying the signs that it's time for a change, navigating the challenges of making a career shift, and taking a leap that truly resonates with who you are.

Listen in as Lori shares her story of growth, the importance of financial planning, and the power of community support in making a successful career transition.

Connect with Lori on LinkedIn or learn more about her book Linguistic Attitudes

Download 10 Ways to Shed Your Superwoman Cape

Dr. Dara would love to connect.
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Transcript

Dr. Dara Rossi: Hello and welcome to No Cape Required, the podcast where we often dive into real stories, struggles and successes of women who navigate their own unique path. And today we're doing just that. We're going to talk about a topic that requires courage and self-awareness and reflection, and that's recognizing when it's time to make a career change. Have you ever felt that constant stress or even burnout to the point where it's impacting your well-being? I think we all have at times. Maybe the passion you once had for your work has faded and you find yourself dreading Mondays. I think I've heard the term scary Sundays. Yeah. Perhaps your values really aren't in al line with what's demanding of you in your role, or you feel that stuck. You're in that stuck spot with little room for growth and fulfillment. If you've been dreaming of something different or you feel like your career path isn't serving you, you're not alone. These are all signs that it might be time to re-evaluate where you're headed and your direction. And in this episode, we're going to explore what those signs look like. the challenges that come with making this shift and how to take a leap in your career or your business and in your life that really, truly resonates with who you are. Let me introduce you to our guest, Dr. Lori Brakhage. And she is an author, a speaker, and a seasoned corporate strategist. Her academic focus while she was working her doctorate from Southern Methodist University was in the area of linguistic anthropology. Don't be scared if you don't know what that is, because I'm sure she's going to explain it to us and also organizational behavior. And she's just one of my favorite people, by the way. So after she spent two decades in the corporate world, she found her own company called Apex Collective Strategies, where she gets to provide tailored advisory services and communication strategies for organizations. Welcome, Laie. I'm so glad you're here.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Oh, thank you so much for having me on. I'm thrilled to be here. It's a privilege.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah. Well, let's just start with, maybe something you want to add to your bio, if I didn't catch all that. But let's start with your background and kind of where you came from and where you are today.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Sure. I am born and raised Dallas-ite, of which there are very few of us here, nowadays. And I did start my journey in the corporate arena, which made me a little bit of a black sheep in the family, because all of My family members are entrepreneurs. So you would have thought I said that I wanted to go do criminal behavior when I said I'm going into corporate. Because the family was just aghast with, oh my gosh, how can you be doing this? My mom had her own company, my dad, my brother, my uncle, my cousin, you, Everybody. But after 20 years in corporate and now that I've become that entrepreneur, that really was the right step for me because that corporate experience is something that I am very grateful for because it gave me the foundation and the connections that I needed to move forward on my own journey once I left the corporate arena. So that was 20 years in corporate. I have been a lifelong learner. I love to read, I love to take classes, love to go to school, love to meet other like-minded people. And so at one point I decided I would go to school and get my master's. Once that put me in a world with other individuals, mainly other women in the Dallas area that were moving on from corporate and into their own levels of expertise and moving out on their own, that gave me a little bit of just enough courage to think maybe this is something I can do for myself as well. And that really is what propelled me to where I am today.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So 20 years in corporate, I assume you were climbing that corporate ladder during this time. Was this with one organization with you? Several organizations. Tell me a little bit more about that.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: That's great question. It was with one organization. I started at an entry level position in the communications department. And honestly, I thought this is just a temporary thing. I had just graduated college, I had just lost my mom. I was in a place that I just didn't really know what I wanted. I was grieving and I just needed something to keep me busy and that would allow me to just kind of deal with other issues that were going on in my life besides being focused on work.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So it gave you that stability, is what I hear you saying. Ex stability.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: It was the stability that I needed and really didn't need the pressure of climbing that corporate ladder of it was just, this is where I'm going during the day, this is how I'm spending my day. And there came a point where I'll share this, that I got to the office and again, this is 20 years with the same organization, in Dallas. And I got to the office early one morning and it had been raining on the way to work. And I got there, I was the only one there. So it was very quiet in the department. I kept the lights off. I put on just One little lamp. And I saw a rainbow in the big portion of this departmental window, top to bottom window. And I saw this rainbow and I'm looking around like, oh my gosh, is anybody seeing this? Of course, nobody else was there. And that was for me, I think, a sign that said, you need to get your stuff together now. And your mom would not be happy if you were not doing something of value with your life and with your future. And that's really when I said, okay, I'm going to make something happen and really focus on my career. And that's what I did. So from then I moved into higher levels of position within the organization, started taking on more responsibilities and by the time I left the organization, I had moved into the C suite and had been there for 10 years. So it was a slow start to the journey and then ramped up fairly quickly after that until the time that I found the opportunity to be able to leave and go on my own.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Gosh, I love that story of the rainbow. Right. We have to be open to signs. I'll call it when something just hits us. It's like, wait a minute, it's time to do something here. So that's nice. So, so 10 years in, in the C suite, what, what changed? What came about? Right. Because you're on this trajectory, moving up, you're in the C suite. Good times. Yeah.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: So doing well and really enjoying the people that I'm working with, the challenges, just, everything was just, you know, what I had hoped it would be like to move into that world. Challenges on top of just the average business. Challenges of day to day, being the only woman in the C suite, being the only Hispanic woman in the C suite and being the only Hispanic period in the C suite and being the only person of color in the CA suite, those things started to become more prominent in various interactions. And there was a change in leadership at one point that led me to think that there might be other ways to add value that might not necessarily be within this particular organization. And a lack of, you know, kind of that workplace flexibility, some discrepancies, maybe in pay, some microaggressions, a little bit of lack of leadership, transparency, things like that. The politics really started to impact me in a way where not only was I double guessing myself and my knowledge and my expertise, but I started to make myself sick with the worry and with the stress and with the dynamics that were in play. And while I was going to school at night getting my Masters S, which really became a safe haven for me, with the cohort that I was in, those were the things that really made me stop and say, okay, I. I think for a while I had my ladder leaning on the correct wall, but maybe that wall has shifted or maybe my idea of what success looks like has changed. And that's when again, I stepped back and reevaluated. Where am I? What am I doing? What do I want to be doing? How can I be adding purpose and value to others that then I feel for myself as well? And those were the thoughts that went through that allowed me to start thinking about making that change and what the steps would be in order to make that happen.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So if I hear you, what I'm hearing you saying is that you had these sort of stirrings inside of you, right? That, hey, maybe I'm not in the right place doing, doing the right work. I have microaggressions. There's discrimination for my color, for my gender, right? The role that I'm in. There's financial discrepancies as well. All of this together, kind of culminating, came together. And you said, wow, it's time to make a change, right? How did you know what change you wanted to make?

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Well, that's where the resource, the community came into play. And I'm very fortunate to have in my life very strong, independent women that either I have been introduced to, that I have in my life in a consist on a consistent basis, or that I have access to through other people. And it was, that was the first step in engaging with these other women and saying, and women of color also to say, what are some of the things that impacted you or that led you to move into your own world and taking your creativity and your expertise and, and what were the challenges that you faced with that? And so that was the first step is just seeing, am I alone in this? Have other people experienced this? And if they did, what did they do? So it really was, I really did approach it as research to begin with. And one thing that consistently came across as almost, I would say, as a non-negotiable is make sure your finances are in order. If that means you cannot leave immediately, but you need to set aside money and make a plan for a year out, two years out, whatever it may be, make a plan so that once you leave, you have the financial strength and the wherewithal to be able to continue to live your life, pay your bills, things like that, have that backup of resources, pay off all debt as much as possible, things like that. To just be in a place financially that that is one thing that, because you're going to have enough stress when you leave. And just the fact of leaving an organization after 20 years is going to be stressful because, you know, I grew up there. I started in my 20s, you know, and left in my 40s. That's the chunk of my young career. And to prepare for that. One of the major issues being make sure or one of the major considerations being make sure that you have the financial foundation to be able to make that step should you decide to make it. The other point that I recall is one friend saying you might decide you don't want to leave after all, and that's okay. Don't feel like just because you're thinking that way, you have to follow through. Things change within organizations. There may be another place for you in that organization. So don't necessarily assume or think, oh, I've got to leave and do my own thing. You could leave and go someplace else. You could leave and go to school full time, which is what I ended up doing to get my doctorates. And so the point being, do not limit your options on what your next step is. Leave it out there for again to see the signs of what's the next step and the direction to go should you decide to leave after 20 years.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah, 20 years. That's a long time. That's not really heard of these days. Right. People don't go to work for a company and stay 20 years. It's a much, much shorter time. y. Their needs are not being met. You know, if they're not, their values are not aligned, they, you know, want to make a move. Did you feel, I'm just throwing this out there, but did you feel like a failure because you're like, wow, I'm not doing the right thing. I have to leave. Did that cross your mind at all?

Dr. Lori Brakhage: I think if there was any sensation of feeling like a failure, it would have come from again that historical sense of the generations before us that, you stay with a company, that loyalty is there until you retire at that 65 years of age or whatever it is now. If there was a sense of failure, it was with that mindset, which is. Which is. That's all it is. It's a mindset. It's a paradigm that, doesn't exist anymore. There was not the sense of failure within the work that I had done within the organization, though I continue to feel really proud of what I did within that company and the fact that they continue to use a Lot of the processes and the systems that I put in place, even though I've been gone for already 10 years, that they continue to use those, I see as a testament to the work that I did and the impact that I made with my fellow colleagues there within the organization, that they continue to benefit from those. Those various changes that were made during my tenure there.

Dr. Dara Rossi: That's great. I was just working with a client, a coaching client, this week. And, she had her own business but was thinking about going back to work for an organization full time. And she said, I feel like a failure. And we talked about her, what she was doing and how strategic she was. And I said, a failure? It seems like you're a strategist, like you have a strategy here and you plan this out. so either way, making a move, either way, it doesn't make you a failure. I think it's good strategy. Right. And that's what you did when you decided to. Something needed change. You said you researched. So you talk to people, you research to decide what you want to do. So, as I mentioned in the bio, you started your own company. Did you just jump right into that or what did you do when you decided to leave? Lori?

Dr. Lori Brakhage: When I left, the plan originally was to complete my master's by going to school full time. Because as I mentioned, I'd been working full time and also traveling for the company, and then night classes at SMU. When I left the company, I said, okay, full speed ahead, complete my master’s, and that's what I did. What happened was in staying in contact with all my colleagues and people that I'd met throughout the industry and staying in touch with them, I started having folks contacting me and saying, hey, we know that you left to go back to school full time. And so happy for you. Wondering if you can help. You helped us with this some time ago. Wondering if you can maybe help us do X, Y and Z. Sure, I'm happy to. That'd be great. Love to. And at some point, it was my husband who said, you know, I think at some point you're going to want to start charging because people are contacting you enough, wanting your input and expertise and assistance that, might make sense for. And I was like, Because I was just doing it, just, yeah, happy to help kind of thing and not charging. And I thought, I'm go going toa try that and see if people will pay. And lo and behold, they did. And, you know, I put together a proposal and said, here's what it would look like if I. Absolutely, Lori. Happy to. That sounds great. It's a good plan. And so after a few, you know, handful of folks like that, then Apex Collective Strategies was born.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Oh, nice. So it was, yours was organic. Right. So it can happen that way too. It can be planned out and have strategy, but it can also be organic. Now tell me, are you using this linguistic anthropology, what is that? And are you using that in your business?

Dr. Lori Brakhage: I am. So that's the academic way in academia to say, communications in the business world. So linguistic anthropology is communications within the business world in the style and the way that we communicate. So when you combine communications with organizational behaviors or organizational dynamics, what I do is marry the two within the work that I do with my clients to say, this is the language that's being used, this is how it's impacting your team, your company, your… it can even be… I assisted a company in California with their hiring paperwork, their job postings. They weren't getting people applying. And I was able to go through and say here are some words that are depending on who you're looking for. Once we identified who that was, these words are off putting to that particular generation. So my expertise also comes from the communication bias within different generations and how organizations and the leaders within those organizations can make sure that the language that they're using is having the desired impact within that particular group of individuals. So I do use linguistic anthropology within the work that I do. And if I may show that my doctoral dissertation is what led to my book Linguistic Attitude on Generational Communication Bias. And it's really a playbook for conquering and addressing that bias within, organizations and how to ensure a healthy and engaged workforce within companies.

Dr. Dara Rossi: I love that, I love that that's worked for you. Right. You've taken your education, you're using it, and now you have your own business. With this, just speaking of, you know, job postings and, and helping, I'm going to probably people can figure out what generation I'm from. Do you remember the days where you took the paper and you circled the job postings that you wanted with a. You with a pen and then you called the number or you went to the location and filled out a paper application? Yeah. Things have changed. Yeah. So companies have to keep up with the times and the generations. Right. So, okay, let's say that we have people listening that either the job no longer is aligned with their values or they're just totally burned out or they're in the wrong place, or they just hate what they're doing now. They went to school for it, maybe, and, you know, they're working their way up this corporate ladder, if you will, but they hate it or it's time to make it move. What do you suggest for these folks? Listening.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: The number one thing, and I'll echo the advice that was given to me, is to identify first, what is it exactly that is not working? The fact that an individual is saying, you know, this doesn't fit quite right anymore. The fact that you're feeling that shows that you know where that gap is. Sometimes it takes a little while to drill into exactly what that is. So having someone, a colleague, a friend, a mentor, help you process through what exactly is it that isn't working for you? Is it the job? Is it the people? Is it the motivation? What is the fit that you have within your place right now? And, and it can be all of those things, or it can just be one thing. Sometimes if it's the issue with a particular individual, that can be addressed. And that happens a lot. HR executives, HR professionals, I mean, often get into that environment to help if there's issues.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Conflict.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Right. Conflict within individuals in an organization. But I would say the first thing is to identify exactly what is ruffling the feathers. And what that does is one, let you identify if that's something you can handle within the place that you're in right now, and if it's not, making sure that you avoid it with whatever next step you do going forward.

Dr. Dara Rossi: So listen. Listen to your intuition, listen to yourself, then reflect on what it is exactly that's giving you this uncomfortable feeling.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Right? Right.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Okay.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: And once you identify that, you know, to stay away from that with whatever your next step or whatever your movement is going forward, the opposite of that is for me, I became so energized when I would be in class and with my colleagues at SMU in that give and take. And that, man, it just, I was like, wow, this is, you know, I just felt that fire in my belly that this is great. This is really giving me energy. So the other side is what is energizing you? Not just what, taking away your energy, but what are you finding yourself gravitating to? Because that ultimately is what is going to show you what your next step is.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Just real quick. Because if what you're doing right now is draining you, it's draining your energy, it's constant stress on you, your body, I mean, that, that causes, real health issues, both, mentally and physically.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Right.

Dr. Dara Rossi: And takes a toll on you, so you have to. To recognize and acknowledge that when that's happening.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Right, Right, absolutely. And so, you know, like we said, the flip side of that is what is giving you energy, what is filling up that bucket for you and making you feel energized and engaged and, you know, that little pep in your step and recognizing that as well. The second thing, this goes more to the practicality of next steps is the financial aspect of it and making sure that things are in place and also making sure that you have your support system. That was really important for me to engage with my folks and my husband, my entrepreneurial family, who once I told him I was thinking about it, I was like, I don't know if I should tell them because I know they're going to say quit tomorrow.

Dr. Dara Rossi: They're like, yes, yes, go do this.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Our side, you know, finally a life. But getting their support and getting their experience too, and making sure that I had them on board and just being very upfront with this is where I'm thinking. This is my thinking. This is what I think is going to happen. Can you support me in this and be available to me, even if it's just to hold my hand virtually? And so the support system is vital, is key as well.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah. And, you know, I think that the reason we don't often make changes like this, these big types of changes, even though we know in our heart it's. We're not in the right spot, is fear. Fear keeps us from moving forward, from making a change that would be positive for us, for our family, for relationships, you know, in general. Did you have that fear come up and how did you get over that?

Dr. Lori Brakhage: I did, because in, the position that I was in, my predecessor, he would call when you were in the C suite, there was something that was called the golden handcuffs. And I'm sure other organizations have that as well. Where you're doing well financially and that makes it hard to leave. And there's a lifestyle maybe that you get used to, whether it's the financial part of it or the. Or the flexibility within an organization, there are some things that are hard to let go of. And my identity had been so wrapped up in this company for 20 years, it really took a little bit of time for me to unravel myself from that. So there's a little bit of fear of who am I without them? Who am I without the company, without the people? And that was scary. And I've been very fortunate to have remained in contact with the core people within that organization. Who coincidentally either retired after I left or have, since retired since COVID where the world just shifted when Covid hit for so many. And I think Covid, as tragic as that experience has been for so many, I think it was also a period of time where some people who were maybe waffling about what they were do next, that was the impetus. It gave people enough time to sit back and go, hang on, what, what am I doing with my life here?

Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah, I've heard that so many times from folks. You know, two things come up when you were talking about that fear. It's natural. It's going to be there for several reasons. Right. And the fear of making mistake. Well, so what if you do? You. You can change that again. You can change your mind. The other thing that I heard you say is you're still in contact with some core folks that were there, is that it's important not to burn bridges. Right? You can make a decision to leave, to change careers, to change organizations, to start your own business, whatever it is, but don't burn the bridges from those folks that you've worked with and people you know in your network, because you never know when you're going to connect with them again. It is a small, small world right now.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: It is a very small world. And especially with the way we can interact and find one another through social media and the interwebs. I mean, yes, it's a very small, very small world now. Well, always has been, but especially within the business community, everybody knows everybody in some form or fashion. So, yes, very good point. Not to burn bridges. If you're going to leave, tee it up in a way that the people around you that rely on you, if you lead a department or lead a team or the people that you report to being able to, provide. When I resigned, I met face to face with the CEO of the company and had my resignation letter and said, this is my plan, this is what I'm doing. I'd also provided a letter for him that he could release to the organization, letting everybody know, because, the position I had within the organization, my leaving was going to impact the various operating units of that company. And so being able to shape the narrative for him, to be able to say, she's been here 20 years, she's going on to pursue her master's degree, and, you know, those types of things. To be able to leave on a way, in a way that shows respect both ways to the organization and to your colleagues, because you don't. The intent is never to leave anybody high and dry. The intent is for you to move forward into what your next phase is for yourself. And there's a way to do that without burning those bridges, like you said.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Wow. Some great advice there today. This whole episode has been, tidbits of advice for those that really need to make a change. And I want to leave you with this. Look out for the rainbows that kind of stuck with me, right? These signs in your own intuition when it's time to make a change. Use that as you start to reflect and research on what your next move is. And the fear is there. You just step over it and, be strategic about what you're doing and, you know, your exit plan and your next move. And you got this.

Dr. Lori Brakhage: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I admire and applaud to every individual that makes that step. It is scary, but it's so fulfilling, and it's hard work, but it's so worth it. And so I wish continued success to you and to your listeners. And I so appreciate being able to spend some time on, on your podcast. Thank you so much for thinking of me.

Dr. Dara Rossi: Thank you, Lori, for being here. I appreciate you, too.