18. 3 Critical Mindset Shifts To Advance Your Career

In today's episode of No Cape Required, I sit down with award-winning speaker, author, and executive coach Neena Newberry to explore 3 critical mindset shifts for career advancement and personal fulfillment. We delve into the importance of taking small, deliberate steps, effectively spotlighting achievements, and mastering negotiation skills.

Newberry also shares practical exercises, including the 'big three' focus areas and the accomplishment log, to help you manage your energy and amplify your strengths.

This episode provides actionable insights on aligning professional goals with personal values, leveraging feedback for growth, and building confidence in negotiation scenarios. Tune in for invaluable tips on embracing positive intent and self-grace, ultimately propelling yourself toward sustained high performance and holistic success.

You can learn more about Neena and her work by visiting her website or connecting with her on LinkedIn

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Dr. Dara would love to connect.
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Transcript

[00:00:00] Dr. Dara Rossi: Welcome back to No Cape Required, where we take a deep dive into the challenges and the triumphs of professional and personal growth in order really to help women fly high without a cape. I'm your host, Dara Rossi, and today we're discussing, I think, a powerful topic that can transform how you navigate your career and your personal growth.

And that's the three critical mindset shifts for advancement. Now, whether you're looking to climb the corporate ladder. Or grow your own business or simply take your personal development to the next level. The right mindset is key. And your mindset is so crucial because it influences both your actions and your decisions.

And then this episode, we're going to explore the three essential shifts that I think that can really elevate you. Now, these shifts may seem simple, but implementing them, I think, can really be a game changer. Now, make sure you share this episode with someone who, who needs to hear it and grab a notebook, get comfortable, and let's dive in with my guest, Nina Newberry.

Now, she is an award winning speaker, an author, an executive coach, and she develops strong leaders through her purpose, presence, and power framework. That sounds exciting. She has over 25 years of experience managing, consulting, and And in human resources, including a leadership role at Deloitte, she's earned rave reviews from Fortune 500 clients like AT& T, Toyota and Shell.

Nina has received numerous accolades, including being named one of Dallas 500 by DCEO magazine. And winning several Stevie awards for women in business. She's also a Forbes coach council member, an adjunct professor at SMU Cox school of business and actively contributes to empowering women. Nina has designed a life that allows her to spend quality time with her family while pursuing her passion.

Something I think that we're striving for and for fun, Nina's sense of adventure has taken her on some crazy things, such as an outdoor safari in Kenya, racing a formula one track. And hiking rim to rim in the Grand Canyon. Welcome, Nina. 

[00:02:02] Neena Newberry: Thank you, Dara. I really appreciate it. I'm excited to be here with you 

[00:02:05] Dr. Dara Rossi: today.

Oh, I'm glad you're here. Well, when we first met, we talked about this interview and what might, what might be most beneficial for our listeners. And we settled on these three critical mindset shifts for advancement and three, three of those surfaced. And, um, the three were saying yes to the right things.

The second one was spotlighting our own achievements and then finally successful negotiation. So, back in my episodes two and six, my guest and I discussed the topics of learning how to say no, right, the power of saying no. But how about we flip that and we focus our conversation on learning to say yes, but yes to the right things.

[00:02:50] Neena Newberry: Yes, well, and, and learning how to say yes and no are both very, very critical, but saying yes to the right things is all about focusing on where you can have the biggest impact. So, when we talk about it from a professional standpoint, definitely where, where can you have the biggest impact and every time that you are redirecting your efforts and your energy to other things, What does that really mean in terms of driving the real value that you could?

So when we think about this in the context of career advancement, it can be limiting. It can definitely be limiting if you're not saying yes to the right things. So one of the exercises that I like to do with every single coaching client It doesn't matter what their specific goals are, but we start off by doing what I call the big three exercise and the the main question for that exercise is What are the top three areas where you should focus to have the biggest impact on the business given your role and given your strengths?

And it is a very, very powerful question because not only does it get you thinking about the role that you're playing within the organization, but what are some of those things that you can do that other people can't do? And so, if you really think about your role within the organization and, you know, making the highest and best use of your skills, it's, it just gets you to pause.

And so, what we do is we identify the three areas and identify the target percentage of time for each one of the three. And then do a bit of a gut check around, well, what do I think the current percentage is? Of time is that I spend in each of these areas. Now, some people like to get really scientific about it, go back to their calendar and analyze and.

And see where their time actually is going. So if you wanna do that, you can absolutely do it, but it's super helpful. And the other piece I wanna say is your percentages don't have to add up to a hundred percent. These three things are not gonna represent every single thing that you need to do in your role, but they need to absolutely represent the things that if you weren't doing them, someone would be, someone would be saying.

Does, does she get it? Does she get it? Or does he get it? Like whoever's doing this exercise, right? Do they actually get it? Like what's really important to the business? So it's a great exercise. It can take you like, you know, 20 minutes to do it the most. So that's one thing that I think is key. 

[00:05:29] Dr. Dara Rossi: I love that exercise.

It seems simple. I mean, just when you're saying, I think this is pretty simple, but when you sit down and go back and look at the calendar, right? Really to plug it out and look at it and see. And I also love the other fact that you're playing to strengths. Like you're focusing on what strengths and skill sets do I have and how am I using them?

Because we know it's easy to grow strengths, right? And to play to those and use them to our advantage. That's awesome. You know, it's so easy to feel overwhelmed, right? By the endless demands that we have. And we're trying to be super women. But you know, strategic decision making, Can really open the doors.

I think that truly align with our goals. So, so that simple exercises is one way to do it. Anything else that we need to know about how to, how to say yes to the right things? How do we know when? Yeah, 

[00:06:13] Neena Newberry: well, I think, you know, the, the other piece to that exercise in particular, as you start noticing the gaps, and then it takes you forward to this place of determining, well, what are the strategies that I need to put in place to close the gaps?

And it's not that you have to close every single gap, but this is not a once and done exercise for sure. And then the other piece that I want to say, and this is a, a different exercise that I like to encourage people to think about as well, which is just stepping back and looking at your life holistically.

So, you know, we can sit here and say, oh, well, here's the work side and here's the personal side. But what does that composite really look like? And what do you want it to look like? There are so many of us that live our lives without intention. Meaning, there's certain decisions that we're making, certain things we're prioritizing by default.

Just because it's like these day to day decisions around like what I'm saying yes to what I'm saying no to all of that What does it add up to at the end of the day? And is that actually in sync with what you want? So, you know being able to look at your life from the standpoint of okay Am I getting the time that I want with family?

Am I getting time for myself? Am I even on the list? You know, because a lot of times we're not on the list, or you are so busy as women doing all of these things for other people. And then there's the work piece of it as well. And when we think about how the world has shifted in the past few years, it's a lot.

It is a lot to really think about and process. So sometimes what I'll ask people to do, Is to just design kind of an ideal day, meaning what time would you be getting up in the morning? What would you be doing first? What time would your workday start? What time would it end? You know, so just going through a high level framework to be able to define that a bit more.

And so there's so many people who haven't really paused to think about that. They're just going from one thing to the next thing to the next thing. 

[00:08:19] Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah, and staying very, very busy doing it, right? I just went through something similar with that, Nina, in this recognition that I was trying to fit my life into my business.

Business, business, work, work, work, work, work, right? And I'm trying to squeeze a little bit of life in there. And I kind of had this lightbulb moment of, wait a minute, I want to fit my business into my life. That's where I am right now. So it's different for everybody. And unless you sit and really do a little heartfelt search and meditate, not meditate, but think about that, right?

Take some time to really think about what it is you're working towards, what you want, and how you can fit the things in there at the right time. And that's, that's great. Yeah. 

[00:08:59] Neena Newberry: Yeah. And frankly, some of this is, you know, not worrying about fixing everything and getting it to where you want it to be, but just determining where should I start?

So these two exercises that I've talked about. Start to highlight some bigger picture things. That doesn't mean you gotta go run around and solve all of it. Just figure out, you know, that first small step that you need to take. I'm a big believer in small steps lead to big results. And so just taking those small steps and doing them consistently can do wonders.

So that's, that's one thing too. You know, sometimes people will bite off a lot more than they need to at a time. And, you know, just get started, get that 

[00:09:43] Dr. Dara Rossi: momentum. I'm a firm believer in the small steps. That's one of my questions. What's the smallest step you can take, right? Sometimes it's just getting that momentum going that way.

Yeah. Yeah. Very empowering, right? Right. It is. Anything else about saying yes to the right 

[00:09:57] Neena Newberry: things? So when we talk about saying yes to the right things, that the final piece that I'll say is that, you know, pay attention to your energy. 

[00:10:08] Dr. Dara Rossi: You know, when 

[00:10:09] Neena Newberry: you're saying yes to things, you know, And when you're saying no to things, because you typically know when you're kind of pushing yourself into this zone that may not be aligned with what you really should be doing, you know, for it, especially when you consider yourself in the equation.

There's a lot of times we're doing things that we think we should do for everyone else. So that energy, you know, sometimes, you know, especially in Western society, there's a lot of everything's just like thinking with your head, and It just noticing things in your body. Like, how does this actually feel to you?

[00:10:43] Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah. Oh, sure. We've all done that. We've said yes to something and we're, and immediately we regret it and it just feels heavy. Literally your body feels heavy with it. So yeah. So noticing how you feel about it when you say yes or no to some things. Yeah. That's great. Okay. Two great exercises. And then just noticing your energy when you say yes or no.

Okay. Let's talk about the second mindset shift and that is spotlighting your achievements. You know, humility is admirable, but, but visibility is crucial and we want to make sure that, that our contributions are recognized. So how can we go about doing this? 

[00:11:18] Neena Newberry: Yeah. So step one is for you to notice your own accomplishments.

Like how on earth can you expect anyone to notice your accomplishments if you don't even notice them yourself? Sure. So. One of the exercises that I have people do, uh, and I actually have a tool, but this is very easy for, for you to just kind of draw on your own, but it's an accomplishment log, and basically the first column is just your accomplishments, listing them out, and so let me put this in perspective, so it would be in a given week or a certain timeframe, but typically what I suggest to people is, For this week, jot down a few things that you're pretty excited about that you got done.

Do not put any judgment on there about how big or small these accomplishments are. And then the second column is the, what is the impact? Like, what's the so what? And sometimes what you realize, the smallest things end up having a really big impact in the bigger picture. So, for example, let's say I ended up having a meeting today, and it was with a key stakeholder.

around an issue. So, on the surface level, it might not seem like that big of a deal. Okay, I had a meeting with somebody. Was that really an accomplishment? But when you think about it in the broader context and the business impact, maybe it is someone who really is essential to supporting this work that I need to do.

That if I don't set the the foundation, For that individual's support, it's going to cause issues going forward. So that meeting wasn't just a one hour meeting. That meeting was setting the stage and laying the foundation for a collaboration that's really critical. And so it really gets you to pause and not only think about, here's what I'm getting done, but here's how it's, it's really going to have an impact.

Or how it already is having an impact. And, and it also gets you into this practice of jotting down things and noticing what you're doing. Because the other part of it is giving visibility to these things. So, you know, you can, you can be tracking these things, but a lot of times, you know, if you're not having conversations around them, You, you forget, right, you forget, and so by actually doing something proactive, and this can literally be five minutes a week, so I'm big on Making things very practical, very easy to fit in, and easy, right?

Easy, easy, easy. So, this is not overly complicated here. So, just do what you can. If you can't do five minutes, do two minutes. Do one minute. You know, whatever it is. Write down one accomplishment. That's better than writing down none. And that will keep things top of mind for you and make it much easier to bring them together.

[00:14:26] Dr. Dara Rossi: I'm sorry to interrupt you, but let's talk about that. How do I make those visible? So easy steps, right? What I did and the impact. We've got to know the impact. Always looking at the ROI, right? Of everything in business, particular your business or working for someone else. But then how do I go about making those visible?

I don't know about you, but in general, working with women, they have a harder time talking about their accomplishments and the evidence of what they do. So I just, just want to know how they make that visible then. 

[00:14:53] Neena Newberry: No. Well, I, I think one, one other piece that I think is important to helping unlock that and make it easier to bring into discussion is being clear on, you know, the difference between effort, And impact.

Hey, we're all like doing things, there's a lot of process, meetings, whatever. But really you know, being able to distinguish between the two, so that's another piece that's in the power of this. But the other part of it is even just thinking about day to day conversations that you have where someone says, how are you?

And how are you answering that question? Oh my gosh, I've been in meetings all day, I've been back to back, from this to that, the other. And what's the impression that I'm creating with that? So, I'm either a crazy, busy person running around, and, you know, and maybe I'm still having a big impact, but I'm creating a brand and an image.

So really thinking about these day to day messages that we send people. So, when someone asks you, how are you, to really think about what do you want to say. So, for example, it could be, well, I've been in meetings for most of the day today, but I'm really excited about this one meeting that I had because I think it was really crucial for the work that we're doing on this project that I'm really excited about.

Right, so that same stakeholder example, if we take that and, and build on it. You know, so it's a, it's a very simple way to To bring something in, but just this whole idea of noticing the messages that we're sending with simple things that we're being asked, but the other piece is tapping into the power of enthusiasm.

You know, when, when you're being enthusiastic about things and excited about things that are happening, or even, even let's say something in the context of a team that you're working with. And you played a role in that team, and you may not have done all the work. It's saying, oh my gosh, I'm so excited, you know, our client loved this deliverable, you know, this is the role that, you know, Susie played or, you know, someone else played, you can list out the roles people played and this is what I got to do and it was so fun, you know, so just being able to bring in some pieces with enthusiasm and usually people are excited for you as well and want to hear more and start asking more questions.

Thanks. Thanks. 

[00:17:23] Dr. Dara Rossi: I love how you've talked about this and, and, you know, from this little mindset shift to then what do our behaviors, how does it affect our behaviors? And that's a, that, that, the line you could connect the dots right there. If I start thinking about my accomplishment, I'm writing them down.

I'm talking about the impact, then my behavior changes because then I'm talking about that impact I'm having and what I'm doing instead of how crazy busy I am. So there's a direct connect the dots there. 

[00:17:48] Neena Newberry: Yeah, yeah, it is. And you know, I think the other thing I just want to highlight here is I am a firm believer in amplifying strengths.

So not only did that come through in the big three exercise we were talking about earlier, but this too. So when we talk about sustaining high performance or continuing to advance in your career, That is not done just by looking at the gaps. You must also amplify your strengths. And you know, one of the other things that I'll, I'll, um, bring in here that, that always works with women to get them to look at their strengths.

They may not look at them for themselves, but when you can reframe this from the perspective of, you know, if you are able to pause and truly look at your strengths and understand How are you are consistently achieving these results? In other words, reverse engineer your methodology, because some of these things you may not think are a big deal because they're easy to you, or they don't take you that long to do.

So you're minimizing it in your mind. But these are things that other people can't do as easily so a lot of times I'll coach people on those things and We'll actually pull out their steps because half the time I know they're doing some of these steps Until we start talking through it and so that's a really cool way to Uncover the way you think about things, the steps that you always take, and the steps that are less important in order to achieve a particular result.

But once you start breaking out that methodology, now you can teach people. And now, it doesn't end with just you, right? Yeah. That ripple effect. Yeah. It's huge, and that's what gets super exciting for me. So, when I. Talk to women about that. I think, okay, what, what's the impact you're really trying to have?

And so, you know, I know you want to be humble, but this is not an either or situation. Either you be humble or you look at your strengths and how to amplify them. You can be humble and you can have an even bigger impact. And especially, you know, when I think about some of the the leaders that I personally coach, I mean, they've got hundreds or thousands of people in their organization.

So how will they show up? Really matters, matters. The things they teach people really matter. So you know, they have the opportunity to really affect a lot of change. 

[00:20:22] Dr. Dara Rossi: I love this. I love tying it back to the spreadsheet you were talking about, Nina, because if you're gonna tease out these skills that come so easy to you as you're making, as you're accomplishing these things and, and you've got the impact there.

Go ahead and add the skills right there to it. Like, what skills did I use? What strengths did I use? You'll start to recognize those, I bet, as you're, as you're labeling it and continuing to add to that, that spreadsheet.  

[00:20:46] Neena Newberry: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Well, and I, and I do think, you know, the other piece that you're bringing to mind is the importance of asking for feedback, whether people freely offer it or not.

You know, what are, what are those things that people tend to say about you? What are the things that they think that you're good at? And what are some of the things that you've accomplished that they've been like, wow, that was awesome. Like, I wish I knew how to do that or, you know, wish we could teach more people how to do that.

So just taking a moment to look at some of those components so that you can be much more deliberate. And so all of this kind of coming back to spotlighting your achievements is not just about you and shining a light on yourself, but driving a bigger impact. To an organization, to your peers, upward, you know, to people that report to you, whatever that looks like.

And it allows you to be even more intentional as well. 

[00:21:45] Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah. Kind of boils down to, to data collection, doesn't it? Right? You're collecting data, feedback, your own information, putting it all together to, to show a full picture of what's going on and how that's driving, uh, driving the business or, or your own organization.

[00:21:59] Neena Newberry: Yeah, it's, and, and the thing is, you know, You don't have to collect a lot of data here. Oh, I didn't mean that. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I didn't take it that way. But what I'm saying is even if, so, you know, I know there are plenty of people out there who are very overwhelmed with their workload and changes that are going on and their organizations, or how much they're juggling.

Personally and professionally, and so my, my advice there is just start recognizing some of these things, you know, and it'll start making a big difference for you. So even if you just spend a couple of minutes. Identifying some of these pieces, or having a conversation with someone, let's say you're in a weekly meeting with someone, it's already on the calendar, be intentional about something that you want to highlight.

Yeah, you know, if you're a leader, you know, you can set the stage by just saying, Hey, I want to make sure that we spend five minutes as a team, just sharing something we're really excited about, like an accomplishment that we've had. So you can, depending on whether you're a team member or you're a team leader, I mean, there, there are ways that you can bring this in even more and amplify it further.

[00:23:17] Dr. Dara Rossi: I, I want to move on to our next or our last final mindset, but I want to add one thing here because I use something similar to this and I called it a brag sheet, but women sometimes, uh, I think all people do this. They get down on themselves. They have that negative self talk, that inner chatter, right?

And you just totally, uh, down on yourself. Look at some of the accomplishments you've done last week, right? Go back and look at some of these things. Maybe it's only three or four on there, but wow. Okay. You were rocking it last week, right? So, okay. Kind of get you to change that mindset and get, get out of that woe is me and see that you are worthy and you could do this.

I love that because 

[00:23:53] Neena Newberry: there are many people who have managers who don't really give them feedback. Agreed to meaning they're more like exception based feedback providers. Yeah. So, if you've done something really unbelievable, they're going to say something, or if there's something that got messed up or something they would improve, then you're definitely going to hear about it, but otherwise, like, you hear nothing.

And so, there are a lot of women who want more feedback than that, so some of this is, you've got to look for it yourself. You got to notice some of these things yourself, and you actually need to summarize that feedback and give it to your manager saying, Hey, here's the things you may not be aware of that you might not have seen me in these different meetings or these different circumstances.

So it's an opportunity for you to bring it in and more as an FYI. 

[00:24:43] Dr. Dara Rossi: Collect it yourself and then share it. I love that. Yes. Okay. The last mindset shift is successful negotiation. And whether that's negotiating a salary, more resources, times, knowing how to advocate for yourself, right, is critical in, I think, long term success for, for all of us.

And I've heard so many women say, I'm just not a good negotiator. You know, women aren't good at this. That's a man thing. And I say, wait a minute, this can't be true. So how can we change this perception and learn to negotiate and be a good negotiator? 

[00:25:14] Neena Newberry: Yeah, well, with anything, practice is the thing that really helps.

So when you look at The number of women, or how often women negotiate versus men, part of it is they're just far less practiced at it. But you can negotiate all day long if you want to. So some of this is just starting to practice the skills. Whether it's negotiating with, with your kids, a sibling, a parent, a friend.

Whatever, start to really practice using the skills. But, you know, the other piece that I wanted to zero in on a bit more is, you know, we can sit here and talk about methodology as it relates to negotiation. How do you become a good negotiator? Well, part of it is really looking at the approach, but the other piece of it is the mindset, and the mindset is the biggest piece of this.

So, you know when we were talking about Things like your accomplishments and all of that. So if you're going in and, for example, negotiating a pay increase, or you're trying to negotiate for an opportunity, whether it's a project, whether it's another role, if you have been good about pulling information together, you are going to stand in that conversation with a lot more confidence.

So some of this is, is really thinking about what's the information you need to see and what's the information you need to see. To prove to yourself that what you're asking for actually makes sense. You know, from a business standpoint, even if there's some benefit to you individually, but how is the organization going to benefit from this thing that you're asking for?

And, you know, if you can't lay that out, then there's a hole there that you need to fill in and maybe do a little bit more work on. But sometimes what I find is when people are really wanting something for themselves personally, that they forget to think about the other part. Which is what's the real value this is going to bring so even if I gain something personally from this How's it gonna help other people?

What's the end the short term and the long term view on that? 

[00:27:24] Dr. Dara Rossi: That's the win win right mindset I'm winning but the organization's winning or the business unit or whatever it is that you're negotiating with right 

[00:27:33] Neena Newberry: Yes, yes, absolutely. And, you know, the other piece that I wanted to mention around negotiation is to jot down all the ways you're going to get in your own way in the negotiation.

So, and this really varies depending on your cultural upbringing, You know, even when you look at Eastern cultures versus Western, I mean, there's so many different things, gender differences. All of that comes into play, or just the things that your, your family reinforced as you were growing up. So, some of those things, so for example, You know, humility.

We were talking about that earlier. Humility is a big one. Or maybe it's something along the lines of respect for hierarchy. I don't want to push too hard. I want to be respectful of this person. There are power differences with whoever you're negotiating with. So being able to identify each one of those things.

So what does that really mean is going to happen with me? Am I going to say yes too quickly? To something I really didn't want to say yes to, so maybe someone is offering an alternative, and so I went ahead and just accepted it quickly, or does it mean that I'm not going to push back as much? Like, what's actually going to happen for me?

Or am I going to avoid conflict? Is that part of the equation here? You know, what, what's actually going to happen? So, being able to lay those things out, identify maybe the top two or three things, you don't have to make a laundry list, but just the top two or three things that are going to get in your way and determine how you want to reframe those things in your mind.

And then actually practicing. So give them, give them those things. It's like, oh, if someone pushes really hard on me, this is what I tend to do. Okay, so get that person to push hard on you that way. And just see what comes out of your mouth. 

[00:29:33] Dr. Dara Rossi: That's funny. My mind was, my mind was going there role playing, right?

Once you get these barriers, who could you role play with? That's great that you led that. Yeah, I think that's important because role play and also visualizing, right? We can take a few minutes to visualize what's going to happen when they push back. Here's, you know, what would I say and, and think through that too, uh, and then try the role play so that you're prepared when it happens.

That is great because there are certain things that get in my way. I know what I'm negotiating and for all of us probably thinking about that would be great. Anything else about that mind shift with 

[00:30:04] Neena Newberry: negotiation? Yeah, the one thing I was going to say is this is such a powerful tool, but I don't think everyone necessarily thinks about this when they're kind of caught up in the moment.

Just the power of pausing. If you can get comfortable with some silence, give yourself a few seconds. It's amazing how much people fill into that silence. So your silence may not be an objection or anything. Sometimes people will start negotiating against themselves because they think you're resisting or something and you haven't really said anything, but it can give you a moment to collect your thoughts, but it can also shift the dynamic.

So manage that pace. It's all good. You don't have to be talking the whole time, or they don't have to be talking the whole time, but pausing is, is really powerful. 

[00:30:58] Dr. Dara Rossi: The power of the pause. Yeah, just take a deep breath and let it out very slowly, right? Pause and see what happens. And it can slow, I think that too can slow negotiation if it gets a bit heated back and forth and kind of the tit for tat pausing and slowing it down a bit.

To to reframe it powerfully. Yes. 

[00:31:18] Neena Newberry: Yes. And I know I mean when we talk about negotiation and there's so many different things that are going on It can be like negotiating of when to hold a meeting right and who should be in the meeting So, you know part of this is just recognizing And I think that these skills, you can apply them all the time.

Be very mindful around practicing with them. And, you know, yes, the role playing will help as well. And certainly, but if it is something where you really feel like you need to make a broader business case or something, just make sure that you've done your homework around pulling the right kind of data in, especially when it comes to a pay increase.

You know, people will pull data, but they won't use it. It's really surprising to me how many people will not use the data in an actual negotiation for a pay increase. Why do you think that is? I think part of it is, is that getting that comfort level 

[00:32:21] Dr. Dara Rossi: with 

[00:32:21] Neena Newberry: how do I really bring this in? So that's where the practicing and talking to other people makes a really big difference.

[00:32:29] Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah, I love that. So practice on the low stakes stuff. Scheduling a meeting, trying to get all parties involved that need to be there, the right people at the table, all that. So the small stuff, practice with that. Role play if you need to. Get comfortable. Pull the data when you get ready for the big things like salary negotiation and then use it.

So you've already practiced the skills. Now you have data in front of you. You can make the case and shift that mindset to think that it's, it's, how's the win win, right? What is it? It's not just what's in it for me, right? How can I make this? Yeah. How can I look at the other side and see what, what the benefit is for them as well?

[00:33:03] Neena Newberry: Yes, absolutely. Yes. Putting yourself in the other person's shoes is a given. And with women, I see them putting themselves in the other person's shoes a bit too much. But, like, more from the standpoint of, like, they're giving you something, right? So, it's, when you think about, like, a promotion or a pay increase, no one's doing you a favor here, right?

You earned it! Right, you did great work, you did great work, you earned it, and what are they going to gain from this? 

[00:33:36] Dr. Dara Rossi: Yeah, just look at my spreadsheet. Just look at my spreadsheet here. Look at the impact 

[00:33:43] Neena Newberry: Yeah, and so, you know that is part of the the whole negotiation thing, especially when we talk about opportunities or pay is if you've been sprinkling these things in all along, it's so much easier.

It's just a slam dunk. 

[00:33:59] Dr. Dara Rossi: Right, right. You're setting yourself up for success. I love that. We have talked about some great exercises, some tips along the way for these three mindset shifts that are so powerful. What have we not mentioned Nina that you feel like is important to share? 

[00:34:13] Neena Newberry: Oh, you know, I think the, the other piece of it is give yourself a little bit of grace, right?

This, this stuff isn't easy for everyone and that's okay. Just, you know, give yourself a moment to reset when you need to on any of these things, you know, it's okay. And lead with your positive intent. Because that's typically what's behind these things. I, I don't really see people being mega selfish and all focused on themselves.

So, really take a moment to determine, like, what is your positive intent? Whether, you know, all the way from that big three exercise we talked about at the beginning, to a negotiation. And that allows you to speak a bit more from the heart as well. 

[00:35:03] Dr. Dara Rossi: Okay. I love it. Give yourself some grace, but try it. Take those, take those small steps.

What's the smallest step you can take and start doing it today? Well, this has been awesome. Thank you, Nina Newberry so much. And if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast and leave a review on your favorite platform. Your feedback will help us reach more women and help them fly high without a cape.

Thank you so much.


This transcript was generated by AI and may contain errors.